Go Time
I can’t believe my ride starts in less than 2 days. I feel a mix of emotions and keep going back and forth between incredible calm and “hurry hurry Friday get here already I’m so excited I want to ride NOW”. I’m not nervous though about the ride itself – I just feel proud of how far I’ve come since April when I decided I would ride in the Hershey’s Tour de Pink. At that point a 2 mile run was torture and I felt slow to recover when I exerted myself. Now I can ride 60 miles and feel fine afterward. This weekend I went down to Wildwood Park which has a 3 mile loop through a conservation area in Harrisburg. I just went to relax and walk but got bored and so for fun decided to sprint up the hills. 5 months ago I would have had words for anyone who suggested I sprint up those hills. And it wasn’t lost on me that during treatment there was a period of time I couldn’t physically walk the whole way around that loop. It’s a good feeling. TDP Goal One- get my health back – Check.
My second goal for this ride is to raise awareness about breast cancer, particularly in women under 40 and I hope that I’m doing that by getting my story out there. Breast Cancer was the last thing on my mind when I was diagnosed. Although my cancer was further along than we would have hoped, I currently show no evidence of the disease and I credit my medical team for that; I also credit myself for calling the doctor within hours of feeling my lump. I do want to encourage people to do self breast exams. If something doesn’t seem right, call your doctor. If your doctor says you are too young to have breast cancer, get a new doctor. My doctor never said that to me, but that is a story I hear over and over again from other young survivors. Finally, if you are or know one of the 11,000 young women who will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year- there is a group of women out there just like you- the Young Survival Coalition. They are fun and inspiring and collectively have pretty much seen it all. They will support you.
Part of my raising awareness was more personal in nature- I decided to start my blog as a way to keep family and friends updated on my training, but also to bring them into my new world- my “after cancer” life. I find that sometimes even family and friends can feel nervous to ask certain questions and I wanted to take some of the mystery out of the treatments. For example, yes I did have a double mastectomy but the reason I don’t look flat is they were replaced with silicone. And before they were replaced I stuffed my bra with foam (or walked around flat- depended on the occasion). The truth is so much about cancer treatments is bizarre- many “I cannot believe this is my life” moments. Some are funny, some are frustrating, some sad. But by writing them down I feel like I’m able to let people I care about into my world because going through all the weirdness alone would just be, well, lonely! And no one wants that!
I’m off to pack now. The next time I post will be from my ride…my updates will likely be short but I’ll do my best to let everyone know how I’m doing!!!
